The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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