is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
