I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
