i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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