I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
