shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
