Say something about gay babies.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
