every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
