whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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