I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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