I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
