why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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