Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize