My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
