Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
