Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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