she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
