Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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