we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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