my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize