I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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