She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
