Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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