I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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