just tell him i said nine months
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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