i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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