Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
