I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
