I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
