hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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