Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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