The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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