FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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