and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
