I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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