so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize