You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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