HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I believe in your delicious
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
