He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
