you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize