no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
