I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
