i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
