Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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