her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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