i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
