we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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