marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
