bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
