From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
