After last night, I could never be a politician.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
