What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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