At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
