Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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