morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize