508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
