Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
