I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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