i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You ate ashes out of my bong
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
