i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have fence marks all over my body
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
